Friday, December 28, 2012

Flower Bud




 Microbes, butterflies and ants
Painting: Vladimir Kush
The ecosystem I created around me
From life and living and dirt
I celebrate you today
In the ceremony of wine and roses
Today I envy no one, today I am blessed
I know finally the limitless love I had
For the running water has managed to escape
It has touched a growing tree
And there are flower buds
All around me
The show of gratitude
That covers my soul.
p.k
Dec 26, 2012

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

I was not a frog!



Painting: Vladimir Kush Gallery




The day I realized I was not a frog
the streets were purple
no sound to be heard
someone's house had a broken pipe
drip..drip..drip...





I felt the shadow of water on my skin
my human skin!
the water was green

There were too many stars in the sky
I didn't want a pair of glasses
I couldn't have been a frog!
I would have hoped
it all seemed so gloomy
the gunshots....
the floating angels
small kids, nowhere to go
A black line over the sky
A dark moon
A sky with no sun

I would have hoped if I was a frog
A sky with no sun!
It wouldn't have cut so deep
I would have imagined 
a colorless night
paint over the black line

made dewdrops from the rain
I would have stopped the sky from crying
stopped the pain
in the day with no sun
I realized I was not a Frog!

P.K black Dec,2012
Copyright © 2012 Parissa Khosh

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Heart with a hole_leg!

Painting: Vladimir Kush



Like an unbearable wound
Gangrene was cut from my heart
The hole is permanent,But
I walk stronger and plan to reach destiny
I carried the infectious wound for a lifetime


 Afraid of it’s loss
Like the root of a tree
That no longer must

I had to let the knotted root go
For the leaves to turn Green

My everlasting apology
For not watering what had to go
Now my leaves move freely in the wind
I welcome morning dew
Rain washes me free

At times, 
I limp on the leg
with the hole in it’s heart
While winking at the sun!

P.K 
Copyright © 2012 Parissa Khosh

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

An Observation Story --while waiting---



Paintings: Vladimir Kush

I was like a machine that had to move and go somewhere. I felt like I was not in control of anything within me, so you might say that I was spinning. My head was spinning, and I was praying that in some way I can get control of my consciousness or unconsciousness for that matter.

At that point I was certain that I can’t even multiply two by two, or if I could I won’t be able to give an answer that would equal four. The answer at that moment was something more like twelve or eighteen.

That was possible, and I was almost certain that everyone knew what I meant! Those mysterious moments in our lives when 2X2 does not equal 4, that’s were I was!
I wished that my state of being would change, and that I became more centered but the more I thought about it the more certain I became that this would be my state for awhile. I took a book, and looked through the pages. I was pretty certain that I couldn’t understand what it said!
Next, I thought the best thing would be a phone call to my mom, since I never knew what I was talking about when I talked to her. It was always about her, so it didn’t matter where my consciousness was or what I was thinking/not thinking.

I saw the moon and realized that I was not a little girl anymore. I wasn’t even sure of that! So, I could have been!
My center of reality had shifted and for a second I decided to blame everything on the earthquake in Japan. Why not? How many times in our lives can we really come up with an answer to a problem that could be probable? Here I was! One lucky ducky!

Then, I paused for a second, and realized that I had been finding myself in this peculiar mode quiet often recently. I saw that I had been jumping from one hole and falling straight in to another. In other words, I had been digging different graves for myself without really burying anyone in it. 


 


I had this weird tendency for staying put, and not giving in to any form of a struggle. It was dark now, and as such I decided it was time to get in touch with my inner self. I was under the impression that if all around me was dark I could focus. I might have found the inner me, which I was searching for. I had left that inner me, somewhere in the corner of Pennsylvania Ave and Santa Monica Blvd.





It was at that moment when I realized that I might have had a different and unique inner me, traveling the streets of ......... I quickly dismissed that idea, it totally seemed crazy and without foundation. In any case, I didn’t remember that me. I had hid and buried it somewhere far, far away in my soul. 





I was dancing, and at a split second I decided to dance even more. It was a very strange dance where my legs where not moving and my soul was flying. I reached the sky and at that point I realized that I had left me there, to observe things from above. That was the safe me that didn’t need Grey Goose, or any alcoholic beverage to be centered. I was centered up there observing me, us, the kids down below. Looking over my mother in law and making sure she was ok. I couldn’t fathom anything seriously wrong with her. I loved her too much and she was sick in the hospital going through many different tests.

I decided to jump. There was a safe haven for me to jump to. Somewhere white fluffy and pink. I drank and laughed up there which was somewhere close to God. I was happy there. Up there, no one expected me to cook dinner and I wrote from day to night. I wrote and took the inner me to the biggest party ever thrown. In that place I borrowed a dollar or two and rented red shoes to dance. I did not even know how to dance but I started. It was a good dance which lasted for hours and eventually I mastered the dance.



The dance told a story. A story of everything I never had and would have wanted to have. It drew a pink line over the rainbow and at a frozen moment in time I wished upon that one star, the very star which had the shape of my dreams. I went there and saw for sure that clouds were not really blue. They were orange and everything green was in fact white. I saw the colors much clearer. There was a glass that reflected me in the mirror and there it was. Voila!!



I was happy and content there. The stars were bright and everything was made of glass. I dreamt of becoming a butterfly. There I was a butterfly in a big, big bubble. I did not burst that bubble.  I was just happy. I was the queen of my dream. Hey, I kissed that butterfly! That Butterfly became Nani. I flew over the coo coo’s nest. I was really lucky that they didn’t keep me there.

P.K 2011
(After writing this piece that night our dear  one was diagnosed with cancer. She is much better now and I am playing a happy tune.)

Hello

Welcome to my blog.
It will be an interesting Journey knowing I will be writing. I am flying, nope swimming in the ocean.
Welcome on this ride!